Tag Archives: imagination

Jan16

shattered

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shattered

I threw my life on the ground and watched it shatter.

In a single moment everything, everything that I knew changed.

I raged, wept and futilely tried to put the pieces together.

 

I do not remember the moment I realized that my hands where cut and my blood dulled the once bright edges.

I put the shards down and backed away.

From a distance I could see the irrevocable change

But my hands still reached out.

Sheer force of will and the desire to heal stayed them time and time again.

 

Now a few scares stretch as my hands move once more towards the pieces.

Instead of seeking to replicate what once was, they nimbly dust and wash each;

Looking for the qualities that only it contains: a color, a shape or curvature.

Carefully I lay them out in the mud of this new life.

 

I am unsure how one piece will sit next to another: if the edges will combine to please the eye,

If the colors still compliment in this erratic new state.

But as each piece finds its place I see the whole better, I trust the wisdom of my hands.

It is not the piece I set out to make, not in its function or form

But it is stronger and more beautiful for the breaking.

AC 2012

Nov8

Grand Bay: day trip

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Grand Bay: day trip

This past Saturday I took myself on a day trip to Grand Bay Wildlife Refuge which is less than 10 min from my house. I was really surprised by how nice the picnic area was and how long the board walk to the tower is.

It was cold and quiet, it made for the perfect morning stroll. I enjoyed the solitude and the chance to just be with nature far away from the sounds of people.  I forget sometimes how necessary it is to remember my place in the world as just one small thing living with many others; some much older than  myself.

There is a cypress stump there that they think was around 600 yrs old when the loggers cut it down. That is older than our country! I didn’t see many animals a few small birds and one heron. There were some late season flowers and weeds making a go of it before we get frost.

I had a really good time, it was nice to get out and take some photos. Here are a couple more.

 

Nov3

What I left behind: finding my bliss

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What I left behind: finding my bliss

I have realized that over the past 6 months or so I have done a lot of surviving and not a lot of living. I wish that I could say that it was necessary but I’m awake enough to realize that a good bit of it is hiding. So the question is what do I do about it?

I know that I could continue to live this life and get by but that is not what I want. I miss the passion in my life about work and creativity. I miss being bold and going places and doing things because I want to with or with out people.

I have used the excuse too long that I don’t know anything about this town or the surrounding area.  All it takes to remedy that is gas and the GPS. I have come to realize that I am afraid to feel. Being an emotional person most of my life this feels odd but it is the only explanation for many of the things I have let happen.

I don’t “make” anything right now. I love photography and haven’t taken picture in month, it has been even longer since I picked up a pencil or a paint brush. I have written but it’s so easy to escape feelings in the esoteric meanings of words. It is not so easy to evade color, beauty or the memories linked to smell. Once I came to this realization I was shocked that I have spent months choosing not to feel.

That is not to say that I haven’t ranted or cried but I feel something deeper lurking just beyond the emotions I know I cn control. It makes me stop conversations and stay out of my study. I know that I need to address it and love myself through it but I seem to chicken out every time I feel it coming to the surface. I don’t want to be one of those people who hides in other words and yet here I am, reading books and watching tv instead of engaging myself.

So how do I break the pattern? How do I reach out to myself in a way that feels safe? By making a list.

Things to do this weekend and next week:

  1. Cook all of my own food- on some very base level this is taking care of me.
  2. TV no more that 1 hr per day- I need to play in the real word
  3. Wake up every day @ 7am and use that hour doing something that is meaningful to me (blogging, praying, exercising)
  4. Go outside!!! Even just a walk down the st.
  5. Find a place in town that I want to go to and go there.
  6. Make a list of all my unfinished art projects and work on one.
  7. Take my camera anywhere and use it.

Some of you may wonder “what is the point in a list if you don’t do those things?”  Well for me getting my thoughts together in some form and out of my head always helps. Also having a record so when I find myself in those unhappy prone to numbness moments there is a plan.

I want to thank those of you who have been encouraging me to be less of a victim and more of a survivor. Thank you for you words directly and through your writing. I know that I will get my head out of the sand and rediscover what makes my life amazing.

Nov2

The versatile blogger: me?

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The versatile blogger: me?

I must start by saying how sweet I think this is!!! Also  that I’m not sure I deserve it. I have ready so many wonderful blogs that are really dedicated and half the time I feel that mine is all over the place. It’s nice to know that some where in all that rambling and hit and miss that it touched some of you and made a connection.

So here’s to the blogs that I read and some randomness about myself.

There are rules to getting awards.

1. Thank the people who give them to you and link to their blog.

http://nuggetsandpearls.wordpress.com/ (a wonderful spunky blog about life)

2.  Next nominate 15 Bloggers for this award and notify them about the nomination. I’m not sure I follow 15 blogs but here goes:

  1. http://brownpaperbaggirl.wordpress.com/
  2. http://christinacronk.wordpress.com/
  3. http://eviemariestewart.wordpress.com/
  4. http://nuggetsandpearls.wordpress.com/
  5. http://photographyfree4all.wordpress.com/
  6. http://justramblinpier.wordpress.com/
  7. http://altonwoods.wordpress.com/
  8. http://bendedspoon.wordpress.com/
  9. http://edenhills.wordpress.com/
  10. http://ram0singhal.wordpress.com/
  11. the un-named blog of my beloved friend

3.  Finally, tell readers 7 things about yourself.

  1. I am very defined as a “middle” child. I have one older brother and a younger sister. I classically fall into a peacemaker role in most situations in my life and I like being a caring, good listener kind of friend.
  2. I have two cats, who pretty much take up my whole non-working world. In general I am passionate about animals but I could not imagine my life with out them
  3. I was married and now I’m not. It has been the greatest lesson of my life.
  4. I have no idea where I am going to “be” in the next year let along five. I used to be a teacher but now I work in an office. Who knows what the next bend will bring.
  5. Mostly vegetarian (I know for you true veggies out there I’m not but I do my best) blood type a positive and all, it suites me.
  6. I love making all kinds of stuff from sculptures to scrap-booking. I believe that creativity once tapped will over flow into any path it can find.
  7. I am on the journey to find my bliss again. After the past year, I have done a lot of questioning and doubting. I think I’m finally getting ready to love myself and my life again.
Nov2

John Williams: Music and Movies

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John Williams: Music and Movies

 John Williams

For many of us watching a movie with an incredible score is what makes the film. The man behind so many of those moments is John William from E.T to the theme for the Olympics his has done it all and made history along the way.

I remember doing a project with my students about art and music. We listened to a double cd that I have of his music when the students tried to get inspiration from Kandinsky.

I quizzed them on what I considered very well-known pieces of cinema music and had a heavy heart when they could not recognize the original theme to Superman or the flying theme from E.T. In their defense they probably never saw either movie. But they did get Jaw, Hook and Jurassic Park.

I mention this project because we took the time to listen to each piece and though some where easily identified (The Imperial March from Star wars) there was plenty of room to talk about the different instruments and the mood they created. How you could tell by the first few moments if it was a theme, adventure or the bad guy. It was wonderful to share the gift of this amazing music with my students and I hope that you as well will be inspired to listen to the work of this amazing man.

 

Oct24

Jim Henson movies: not muppets

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Jim Henson movies: not muppets

 

 

The Labyrinth

I love this movie. It’s very fun but remember it was made in the 80′s so take it with a grain of salt. David Bowie sings and do numerous other bizarre creatures as Sara tires to get her brother back from the goblin king.

I love all the different placed they create in this world and the amazing puppeteering.

 

 

The Dark Crystal

This one is scarier for small children and more on the philosophical side. There is a race of good people (the mystics) and a race of bad people (the Skeksis) and lone child or a race thought to be dead (the Gelflings) who is the key to discovering what has happened to this world.

I like the beautiful setting in this film. There are many different environment and cultures that the characters pass through and each is believable and unique. This film as also made some time ago, so if you only do fast paced this is probably not for you.

 

Mirror mask

This is the story of a young girl who goes on a quest to find a cure for her ill mother. But little did she know she would have to go into another world to find it and then fight her way back to her own.

I love  the crazy visuals and ideas in this story. It was done much later once CGI had started to be incorporated into these types of movies but there is still a lot of classical puppet work.